blister in the sun

 club this is my first time posting real recorded music on here!!!

my side project Xenophon dropped a little something something on bandcamp and i need to show you all! its a live recording of a cover we did at an open mic for noor magazine.

Blister in the Sun by Xenophon

go listen :)

p.s. i'll be back shortly with more posts. i have so many photographs to show you because i reverse engineered by camera and fixed it <3

icarobot

 my return is nigh. life has been very hectic i'm sure you understand. but I think about the club every night and every day. happy halloween by the way.

today i want to speak on the stop motion film I made in 4 hours a couple weeks ago. its called icarobot and the search for sun and its on my youtube right now!!!

i honestly already wrote all my thoughts on its production when i was making it so here are my notes from my sacred notebook:

everything that needs to be said has already been said. except for this: i enjoyed this spontaneous act of creation. i had no real reason to do this on a random thursday night. but i did it anyways, alone in my room, only accompanied by Sufjan Stevens and my little robot actor. i think more people need to do this. I think i need to do this more. it's different because it was inconvenient. when art is inconvenient and you still do it, it means you really like it. this was weirdly affirming in the moment. i feel like other artists, especially film makers, are more real than me. after I uploaded this video i admit i felt a sense of pride. maybe to be good you just have to like it? or maybe being good doesn't matter as long as you like it? i'll get back to you on that. 

what else has been happening since october 14? too many things. i fear I've been writing in a real diary instead of my favorite online void. i don't want to get too much into it, but in a quick bulleted list i can give you my creative pursuits:

• performed at an open mic with Xenophon (check my projects page) and will be releasing some demos soon -- possibly tonight?
• hosted and organized a show with 7 bands
• was the cinematographer for a student film about spies and detectives and briefcases
• got back on my photography grind finally!!!!!

the last bullet is half true. i mean that i started bringing around a casual point-n-shoot again and I've been capturing my lovely life again. i went to the park and saw my friends and celebrated Diwali this weekend. let me show you:

i've really missed this... but i miss my camera more. you see, these pictures were taken on some random fujifilm camera that i never use. i broke the button on my lumix dmc lz3 and now in order to take a picture i must stick the needle of my earring into a hole and push down. this is very annoying. so i'm thinkin I do some real engineering tinkering robotics shit and remove the button of my OTHER lumix dmc lz3 that doesn't work and put it on my current lz3. are you following? 

i have a lot of things on my mind but they aren't blog-appropriate. honestly I think a diary has been really helpful lately and everyone should consider getting one. i also started a dream journal which has been quite reflective too. i realized I have this reoccurring dream of having too many cats. usually there are clones upon clones of my cats and they are covering the floor of my house and jumping out windows and i can't keep them all inside. they are leaving and I can't protect them! i think this dream appears when I am overwhelmed in my life. stress dreams are weird.

i leave you today even when I don't want to. i have other matters to attend to. before I depart i leave you with my favorite lyric as of late:

Drunk girls know that love is an astronaut

(Drunk girls)

It comes back, but it's never the same

Drunk Girls by LCD Soundsystem

This doesn't really relate to my life at all but i just like it. 

back on my feet / farmer's luck

for the past 2 weeks i have been on crutches. but yesterday i walked again. at least it was yesterday when i started writing this post (3 days ago).

club i apologize. i have never done anything like this to you. but i was literally on crutches and hobbling around and i would get home and pass out instantaneously! this is why i have been on such a terrible hiatus! but now i'm back. just in time for college season when i will prob take more extended leaves if i'm being honest. but today, i'm back. 

during my crutches time i was basically bedridden and thus i did a lot of things: sleeping, homework, and movies! i have watched 8 movies since i was hit by that car and they have made me very happy. i've been reminded of all the things I want to try in the world, so there's a silver lining in all of this. actually i think there have been many.

this whole near-death experience reminded me of the tale of the farmer's luck. i first read it in a book called Zen Shorts, a children's picture book about a panda named Stillwater, but i think the story is originally Taoist. this is my retelling:

there once was a farmer and he had a horse. but one day his horse ran away. all the townspeople said "oh no your horse! what bad luck!" and the farmer was like maybe idk. 

then the next day his horse came back and it brought 10 horses with it! and the townspeople said "oh my so many horses! what good luck!" and the farmer said i guess so idk.

later in the week, the farmer's son tries to ride one of the new wild horses. the horse throws him off the saddle and the boy injures his legs and he's walking around on crutches now (like me). all the townspeople said "oh dear your son! what bad luck!" and the farmer was like i'm not so sure.

a couple days later, military recruiters come by to draft the son in the war. but they see him and his crutches and they passed on him. the townspeople see this and say "oh lovely! such good luck!" and the farmer said maybe.

the story exists to remind you it's all about perspective and that at least you're not getting drafted into the military. and for that i am grateful. some good things about things about getting hit by a car are as follows:

• my pecs and left calf got super muscular from the crutches because it's a calisthenics workout no matter what you do
• i did a ton of college stuff because i couldn't do anything else and now i don't have to do it when i have the option to do fun stuff
• my friends brought me cookies
• a man in the subway saw my foot brace and asked "how'd ya bust your flipper?" which is an exchange i wouldn't have experienced if i didn't bust my flipper in the first place
• generally made me thankful for the ability to walk
• filled me with ideas of what to do when i could walk, which was both sad because i couldn't do them in the moment, but also good because now i have things i'm excited for
• i watched a bunch of movies which i already said but i love movies! Riddle of Fire was my favorite and i think i'm gonna have to write a whole separate post about that

there are some sad things too of course. is it worth it to mention them?

• my cats were scared of my crutches and i virtually couldn't touch them for 2 weeks
• the night pains. oh, the night pains
• rethinking everything i did that morning that led to me taking that specific road at that specific time
• had to call my mom and tell her I was in an ambulance
• dreams of being paralyzed!

enough of that. I just figured it's only fair to show both sides of my experience. i truly did flip around constantly like the farmer's luck. now I am still wearing the boot and i'm very slow to walk anywhere and i sound like a pirate with a peg leg traversing a ship deck. my stitches came out and my knee bends as normal. i don't ice my foot anymore. 

usually I have some pictures or something to put at the end of my text posts, but honestly I haven't been taking many pictures because 1. i didn't go anywhere, 2. it's hard to get a camera out when you're on crutches, and 3. my main camera is broken. so I will leave tonight with a picture of Stillwater the panda. 

topics soon to come are:

• my upcoming photoshoots inspired by many ancient greek deities
• Riddle of Fire review
• linking this sacred blog on my Vassar applications (controversial)
• the song i wrote with my friend to process our falling out (emotional)

good night club

truck: 0 me: 1

 im not gone and i have so much to say!

coming this week i solemnly swear!! a lot is just happening right now so i can't today! but definitely soon!

pedestrian blues

 hi club. i got hit by a pickup truck 3 days ago and it is unlikely for me to post anything this week. i got super lucky and i only injured my ankle and knee, but still I am super tired and i don't have the energy to post anything.

maybe next week! bye for now