computer number 3

good news my club, i have a new computer once again!!! it is a macbook pro from 2016 and it has half peeled stickers on it of sea creatures and ghosts. i will not be removing them. i hope to not have anymore laptops after this one for at least 6 months. however no one talks about the complicated transition to a new computer. i have done it too many times recently. to be honest i miss my laptop from middle school. it had puffy stickers on every inch of the keyboard. it was heavy as hell and my dad would have to use it in public sometimes.

now i am transitioning to this smooth macbook (my first ever mac, might i add) from my slow dell laptop. but my slow dell laptop has all my things. all my passwords and videos and my softwares. but this computer is slick and was gifted to me by someone i love! and it blogs so quick.

one resolution of mine is to blog weekly again. it was very freeing. i love you blog. today i will talk about my recent trip to belize. actually i am kind of sleepy and its almost 11 pm. so i will show my scrapbook scans and be gone for a minute.

in other news, i am really into writing letters. maybe that's why i haven't been online: i am analog now?! no i will never be analog and we all know this. in fact i am more obsessed with robots than ever before.

i also went to the library and borrowed some dvds to watch

i love dvds.

reviews are soon to come

amtrak to boston

i write this on my phone because my laptop is once again so broken. i need the robots to come in and repair it. but for now i have an hour left to boston as i sit with my two sleeping best friends. we all woke up too early.

i feel like i need to embrace writing again. i need my life to slow down. i need to be creative. that’s why i brought my travel scrapbook with me to boston so i can stitch together these moments and enjoy them too. i’ve been reading We by Yevgeny Zaymatin and writing more music and watching a lot of movies. albeit bad movies but they just make you appreciate the good ones more. my favorite movie i've seen in the year of our lord 2025 so far is Twelve Angry Men. i am the thirteenth angry man because i was really hoping it was not that good and it’s just pretentious people praising it, but it was really good unfortunately. it makes me want to go to the theatre and watch a play. maybe even write a play one day, but i need to write a movie first.

i am on a break from school, and i intended to start writing my short film but instead i’m going to boston. a lot of great films take place in boston, so maybe inspiration is nigh. i think my film will be about microscopes because i have 5 of them and i think they could be utilized. maybe it’s a drama about a boy who wants to live life at the microscopic level. maybe it’s a psychological thriller about an obsessed lover who must observe every millimeter of their girlfriend. maybe it’s a low budget sci-fi about a rapidly multiplying alien cell, so rapid that 5 microscopes are needed to look at it. i am not sure yet but i have ideas.

i went to the metropolitan museum of art in december and took lots of reference images, but this one sticks with me. i want to replicate this, maybe not in the microscope film, but another. or maybe all of the microscopes assume the positions around jesus and the mad scientist lays in the middle. i am not sure.

i took a lot of pictures in the met anyways, mostly of reflections and windows. there’s too many to dump here so take 3.

maybe the rest will be revealed later.

this post was to express my hope for the future and my creative endeavors. a lot is happening in my life now but also nothing at all? are things closing up or opening i don’t know. i will find out soon enough. maybe the answer is in boston written in the harbor with tea leaves. maybe the answer is from my pair of friends. maybe my answer is asleep at home. 

boston vlog coming soon? 2025 is the year of youtube. only 3 months until the blogaversary

lock in o clock

 Hey club... I feel like i haven't been giving you any attention lately. that's because its Lock In O Clock.

i have been so locked in. I have so much to do and i am doing all of it. but today I extra locked in and I have no immediate homework to do right now and I have like an hour to kill and I am in a fancy tea shop so I figured i would get back on the blog.

thus, I am going to talk about myself for a while. and media and art and stuff.

I have been reading Meet Me in the Bathroom: Rebirth and Rock and Roll in New York City 2001–2011 by Lizzy Goodman. it is a super thick oral history of the rock age in NYC (think Strokes, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Interpol, etc.) and I love it. as a biproduct I have been obsessed with electroclash, like Ladytron and Peaches, even though in the book everyone hates electroclash. I also love Karen O all over again. Y Control is probably my song of the year. I am only like a third through the book and I fear it is preventing me from reading other things. I really want to read Dante's Inferno because of Virgil and Hell. 

I also really want to read The Odyssey translated by Emily Wilson because I overtranslated Book 9 for Greek class and now I feel on par with her skill (jk). I met her in May and she was so cool. She was covered in tattoos and did an amazing impression of Priam in the Illiad, reading in the dactylic hexameter and everything. I have been generally obsessed with Greek mythology for a long time, but right now I really want to watch mythological movies. I think this is because I binged Kaos (2024) on Netflix and the Eurydice song is a new guilty pleasure of mine. Hopefully soon I will leave Locked In Land and watch some movies. I especially want to see Gladiator (2000), O Brother Where Art Thou? (2000), Jason and the Argonauts (1963), and Elektra, My Love (1974). Classics fans love to be picky about movie adaptations, but what is the fun in following the myth to a tee? Then you know exactly what happens.

last obsession for today is my film camera. my grandparents gave me 2 cameras last year: a Pentax SP500 and a Nikon N2020. both are super old. the pentax is ancient. But i asked my friend to check out the N2020 and fix it for me and he did. I got very excited and bought a roll of film for like $18. and then i go to try it out. and it does not turn on. Apparently my friend forgot to put some essential parts of the camera back into it. so then I try the pentax just for fun. but it also does not turn on. and I can't even open the battery compartment. and then i google the manual and it is so old. i am going to show pictures from it after this. but through the manual I find out it only takes mercury batteries. so I was about to open this compartment and get mercury poisoning probably. hopefully tomorrow my friend will give me the parts to my camera. and I can take some super cool film pics. 

i will never betray my digital camera. even though I accidentally broke it this week and now to take a photo I must use the wiring of my earring to push down on the shutter. but one thing my friend said was that he likes film more because it is much more intentional. I reject that notion. i love digital because of how accessible it is, how i can capture a moment so effortlessly. after all, why would I want to remember the moment for how hard it was to take? when you live through moments, they should not be hard.

one of my favorite pics I've taken is this one:

because it feels so much like that day and that memory. as I type this I am like 2 blocks away from where it was taken, and i think about whenever i walk past it. i wont lie the picture is better in my head and definitely better on my phone but whatever.

not only have i been locked in, but there has also been a lot of drama in my life. i got into a fight over film. i have been invited and then uninvited and then reinvited to a party (i didn't go). there was a bomb threat at my school and we were evacuated for 2 hours?? this was all in the past week.

i have to leave this tea shop. i have sat here for a long time with a $5 lavender lemonade that I was 5 cents short for and the barista had to bail me out. i have to meet with my cousin to get some clothes from her on E Houston. and i have to go to a meeting to plan out an epic Halloween show at 6:30. 

i have other topics to type about including but not limited to:

• my guitar teacher moving to nashville
• videos of 1950s alaska i have found
• whether or not to put this blog on my college apps
• my waste of an adobe subscription

coming soon ;0

notebook

hi club!

I think today is the last day I will be posting on schedule. i try to post every monday but I think it's making me less creative. I want to post freely and consistently, but not strictly. sometimes I get on this site and my mind flows but i know it could flow more without this monday schedule stuff. just saying it right now.

anyways here's what I've been doing. i went to the park two days ago with my notebook and pastels and doodled a little while listening to Pure Heroine by Lorde and Nocturne by Wild Nothing. Not sure if those albums are influential in these drawings tho. i definetly want to do this again. I had so much fun. tomorrow I go to the beach and im thinking I draw on the way there. either that or read Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

I drew on that little half scrap first as practice. I want to use this notebook up to the fullest. this was starting at the back of it because the first half was drawings from when i was in elementary school. none of them were remarkable. My favorite thing, though, was this list I wrote:

I've known Brodie since I was 3. she was my ride or die in elementary school. She still is. but I don't still write lists of things to talk about on facetime because I want to make the best of the time I have with my mom's phone. I wish i still loved someone this much. I wonder if anyone will make a list like that for me. I wonder if, back in the day, Brodie made a list like this for me too.

the other cute thing I found was a poem I wrote. My favorite poem used to be This Is Just To Say by William Carlos Williams:

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

I wrote my own version apparently:

I loved aliens as a kid. this poem doesn't entirely accurately mimic the original, but maybe next blog post will be a revised version. i love how it says "If you have feet" like the alien is not familiar with the anatomy of the human species, but is with slippers. the second stanza just says "thunderously into/your bedroom/window" without a verb. You fill in the blank I suppose.

this was all very sweet to find. My birthday is coming up and I can't help but feel so old, especially reading these back. but maybe putting new entries into these notebooks is my way of coming back to my youth, especially doodling with this crayonesque style. I love being teenaged and i am not ready to be over with it so I am trying to go back to the start I suppose.

in fact I've been watching raunchy old movies about american teenagehood, specifically Wet Hot American Summer (2001) and Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982). i originally watched Wet Hot American Summer because it was during the NY/NJ heatwave and i was like yeah, my summer is wet and hot and american right now. then I watched Fast Times because it's classic and I literally got it at the library as a DVD, in the way it was meant to be consumed. i liked it a lot. bring this shit back please.

the best I've got are my flicks from this week, when i went to the beach with my teenaged friends.

I love them. I love brodie still.

consumption

This whole week i have been thinking entitrely bloggable thoughts, but I come here to mu computer now and I am at a loss of words. The keys are asking me what I even mean. I have no new verses of substance, no new pictures taken. I only have the remnants of ideas from last week and they don't really matter right now! So instead I think I will be doing a media dump of everything I've consumed last week. I've been reading a lot more and I think it is genuinely improving my life. I love consumption.

Books

I already wrote on here about Pandora's Jar and I haven't read it all that much lately, but I will say I love the Medea chapter and was not that impressed with the Eurydice chapter. Maybe I just love Medea more than Eurydice. But the Eurydice chapter was more about Orpheus than anything. And while it did expose me to more Orpheus media like Orfeu Negro and various Orpheus operas, it was not an actual exploration of Eurydice's character faults. The rest of the book looks promising though. I also enjoyed the Phaedra chapter. I had never heard her story until now. It makes me want to read every myth ever.

I had to read Inherit the Wind by Jerome Lawrence and Robert Edwin Lee, for English class, and actually really liked it. I secretly love reading plays but I also feel like it's a waste of money to buy them because so much of the page is blank. Inherit the Wind was just surprisingly fun. 

Lastly, I have been listening to the audiobook of Portrait of a Thief by Grace D. Li. I am an audiobook defender at heart. I'm like 80% through it and I have to say, I wish there were more thieves and less portraits. It's mostly a character study of 5 very similar characters and less of a heist story, as it was advertised. I have no more to say about this right now. I don't like books where the protagonist's biggest struggle is "being too perfect".

Movies/TV

I saw Challengers (2024) last Friday and I think it is the best movie I've seen all year. Or at least my favorite. There is way too much to say about it in one paragraph. But shortly, so I don't ramble: we need more homoeroticism in media. Let the people know. 

I started watching Suits. Because after Inherit the Wind gave me a longing for more legal dramas. I think movies are good for me but TV is not. 

Music

I bought 2 CDs this week: Nocturne by Wild Nothing and Midlife: A Beginners Guide to Blur. I am also a CD defender at heart. Physical media 4 lyfe. These are both very summery records and I love them. I spend more money on CDs than I spend time listening to them. I bought a new walkman to try to make up for it.

My SOTW (linked at the bottom of the page) is currenly Killer Whale by Boyscott. I'm noticing I love short and sweet songs. This song is the sweetest. I'm also noticing I love songs about home. This song sings:

Just promise me you'll be here when I get back // I swear I will be here when you get back // home

This may be a subconscious little trick on my part. I think home is secretly on my mind. I am at home, but some other people aren't. I did buy a copy of Emily Wilson's Odyssey last weekend. Maybe a poem/verse/vague paragraph will be coming soon.

🤖🤖🤖

I think I need to start writing shorter stuff. Posting little writings. Even just posting my favorite works by other people. I'm going to the Met this week, so maybe I'll have some material then.