for the past 2 weeks i have been on crutches. but yesterday i walked again. at least it was yesterday when i started writing this post (3 days ago).
club i apologize. i have never done anything like this to you. but i was literally on crutches and hobbling around and i would get home and pass out instantaneously! this is why i have been on such a terrible hiatus! but now i'm back. just in time for college season when i will prob take more extended leaves if i'm being honest. but today, i'm back.
during my crutches time i was basically bedridden and thus i did a lot of things: sleeping, homework, and movies! i have watched 8 movies since i was hit by that car and they have made me very happy. i've been reminded of all the things I want to try in the world, so there's a silver lining in all of this. actually i think there have been many.
this whole near-death experience reminded me of the tale of the farmer's luck. i first read it in a book called Zen Shorts, a children's picture book about a panda named Stillwater, but i think the story is originally Taoist. this is my retelling:
there once was a farmer and he had a horse. but one day his horse ran away. all the townspeople said "oh no your horse! what bad luck!" and the farmer was like maybe idk.
then the next day his horse came back and it brought 10 horses with it! and the townspeople said "oh my so many horses! what good luck!" and the farmer said i guess so idk.
later in the week, the farmer's son tries to ride one of the new wild horses. the horse throws him off the saddle and the boy injures his legs and he's walking around on crutches now (like me). all the townspeople said "oh dear your son! what bad luck!" and the farmer was like i'm not so sure.
a couple days later, military recruiters come by to draft the son in the war. but they see him and his crutches and they passed on him. the townspeople see this and say "oh lovely! such good luck!" and the farmer said maybe.
the story exists to remind you it's all about perspective and that at least you're not getting drafted into the military. and for that i am grateful. some good things about things about getting hit by a car are as follows:
- my pecs and left calf got super muscular from the crutches because it's a calisthenics workout no matter what you do
- i did a ton of college stuff because i couldn't do anything else and now i don't have to do it when i have the option to do fun stuff
- my friends brought me cookies
- a man in the subway saw my foot brace and asked "how'd ya bust your flipper?" which is an exchange i wouldn't have experienced if i didn't bust my flipper in the first place
- generally made me thankful for the ability to walk
- filled me with ideas of what to do when i could walk, which was both sad because i couldn't do them in the moment, but also good because now i have things i'm excited for
- i watched a bunch of movies which i already said but i love movies! Riddle of Fire was my favorite and i think i'm gonna have to write a whole separate post about that
- my cats were scared of my crutches and i virtually couldn't touch them for 2 weeks
- the night pains. oh, the night pains
- rethinking everything i did that morning that led to me taking that specific road at that specific time
- had to call my mom and tell her I was in an ambulance
- dreams of being paralyzed!
- my upcoming photoshoots inspired by many ancient greek deities
- Riddle of Fire review
- linking this sacred blog on my Vassar applications (controversial)
- the song i wrote with my friend to process our falling out (emotional)
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