i know what to do

 i've done about 20 minutes of thinking and cracked the code! when writing the previous post i completely forgot that it was okay to have two blogs. 

i think i will make a new blog meant for the public. but i will still keep this blog close to my heart and close to the internet so i can access it whenever i want and write privately whenever i want. it WILL be available on my profile so yes it might be accessed but i don't think anyone will really be digging through my profile to be honest so it should be alright. if they do then good for them for being curious.

here are my concepts and ideas for the new blog

potential titles: archimedes screw (my fav), roboticism (staying on theme), we just met and you tried to kill me (sounds like a cool url)

vibes: similar to robotics club, maybe binary code motifs, dials, buttons, circuitry, circles

posts: my art, my brain

overall i think it would be a good idea to expose myself a little. i need to get used to writing my thoughts out for a theoretical audience.

i really want to just work on my blog now but i have so much fucking work to do. what do you guys think i should do -- what i want or what i need?

lendy pt2

should i come back or leave forever

 it has been a really long time. i have another new computer that is how long it has been. i write this 70 miles from home in my college's singular library. it is 11am on a sunday and i am one of the few people here.

since starting college i have really creatively restricted myself even though i have so much to create. this is why i come back to blogger.com after like 10 months of abandoning it.

i am in a conundrum of sorts - i want to blog post about my art again so i have more motivation to make the art. but i can't decide if i should keep posting on this blog or start a new blog entirely.

there is so much history in this blog that i never thought anyone would see, i don't know if i want anyone to see it. if i made this more public and actually shared this blog with people then are my secrets revealed? it feels like getting a papercut in the same place u already have a scar. its closed and irrelevant now, but the knowledge of people potentially seeing it feels like im opening it up ever so slightly. i don't know what to do.

on one hand i love this blog, i feel like it is betrayal to start a new one, to not be robotics club anymore. my youtube is robotics club! my bandcamp too! i can't leave this identity behind.

on the other hand maybe a fresh start is good. i don't feel the way i did when i made this blog way back then. i feel completely different. also i am actually in a robotics club now, so i feel like its kind of confusing. maybe just for me.

the third option is to wipe this blog and restart with the same website name. maybe a fourth option is to just use a different website? 

i don't know i don't know. i need to explore my options and the blog archives and decide what i need to do. i don't know.

mj lendy concert i went to.