hey i really love my blog. so I should post on it right? yeah i know. but this summer is swallowing me whole. it is rushing over me like a wave that i refuse to dive through. in general i don't know how to feel about august yet. july passed so slowly, everyday was holepunched. but august is quick. so far. i think i am okay with this.
i think this is because i turned 17 at the very end of july. 17 is so different and I love it. that is like a whole different post. this post was meant for the song I wrote at the beginning of july. i think i may have wrote it with someone in mind but that person no longer matters to me! also for another blog post. but I love this song a lot. it is played with only fingerpicking like 2 chords but it is so sweet. its called "jackalope" right now but i am open to changing it. i hope to record it and post it on my bandcamp (also called robotics club).
summer sinks in
like a dragonfly bite
don’t know why it hurts so bad
skin pierces
it’s just a small thing
but get used to
it being around
summer crawls in
like a baby bear
it walks on all fours
time will pass and
it will mature
get on two legs and roar
summer seethes
like a leech
stuck to your leg
from the pond
scrape it off
with a playing card
never knew you needed
the six of hearts
summer swarms
like a cicada
every 17 years
i think it’s time for the brood
but don’t be scared i got you
we will stay inside together
summer hides away
like a jackalope
was it all even real
should i mount it on my wall
so big yet so small
let it return to the wild
i think this song aged really well for how my summer is going. i wrote it on july 2nd and its now august 8th. this summer has been kind of transformative yet i am the exact same. i feel like it is a return to my old self. i turned 17 but i also turned 13. i am excited to meet myself for the rest of this summer. but I also want this summer to end immediately and start my senior year already. i think this summer might be the perfect length actually (excluding for my summer homework). in conclusion i have a lot of feelings about these 2 months. i hope they only get richer and more complicated.
i have so much to blog about. all 400 pictures from japan. the 30 page scrapbook i started in tokyo and finished in my bedroom. my other feelings about 17. my feelings about him. and her. and them all. the book I've been reading, Severance by Ling Ma. my new obsession with Cansei de Ser Sexy. the other songs I've written. but I don't know if I will get to it because I'm binging Gossip Girl. and i'm about to binge the new season of the Umbrella Academy. i think i need to just blog more casually. write more reviews of mundane things like the coffees I try and the days I live and the youtube videos I watch. i want to start reading magazines and comics and more books please!
however how much of this will actually happen. because i have to write 2 huge essays this summer. and translate a lot of greek. and edit a documentary under my film internship. and volunteer at the food pantry in the mornings. and apply to colleges :[ I have approximately 27 days left to do all of that (fuck i should not have counted that up). yet after all of that i am excited. i am excited for those 27 days. i am excited for senior year. i am excited to live out this 18th year of my life. and i am excited to blog all about it i hope.
for realz I am going to try to post casually. the dude who inspired me to make this blog literally writes a singular paragraph or posts a painting he likes or whatever. im actually gonna do that right after i press publish on this one because I saw some real cool shit in okayama. but i also love to pour my brainz out and write 6 paragraphs that only sort of tie together. so I guess this post is worth like 4 of that dude's posts!
okay I think i am done with this one. let me just add oneeeeee little picture to top it off.
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