hiatus incoming

i have to take a hiatus. for two reasons:

1. my computer is so broken right now. I am struggling to use it. I can't really upload anything with it.

2. im going on a huge trip!! so i wont even be with my computer! 

i will be back in august. with lots of stuff to post

hopefully i will fix my computer very soon but i am starting to get worried because i also have like real work I need to do on it. i will be sending it to another robotics club to solve this problem.

this all saddens me because I feel like i have so much to share and i am being restricted so bad.

bye club for now :( i leave you with two pictures and a song of the week.

p.s. i might be able to post on my trip but it will prob be long long paragraphs of text and writing with nothing else because it will be from my little iphone

notebook

hi club!

I think today is the last day I will be posting on schedule. i try to post every monday but I think it's making me less creative. I want to post freely and consistently, but not strictly. sometimes I get on this site and my mind flows but i know it could flow more without this monday schedule stuff. just saying it right now.

anyways here's what I've been doing. i went to the park two days ago with my notebook and pastels and doodled a little while listening to Pure Heroine by Lorde and Nocturne by Wild Nothing. Not sure if those albums are influential in these drawings tho. i definetly want to do this again. I had so much fun. tomorrow I go to the beach and im thinking I draw on the way there. either that or read Stardust by Neil Gaiman.

I drew on that little half scrap first as practice. I want to use this notebook up to the fullest. this was starting at the back of it because the first half was drawings from when i was in elementary school. none of them were remarkable. My favorite thing, though, was this list I wrote:

I've known Brodie since I was 3. she was my ride or die in elementary school. She still is. but I don't still write lists of things to talk about on facetime because I want to make the best of the time I have with my mom's phone. I wish i still loved someone this much. I wonder if anyone will make a list like that for me. I wonder if, back in the day, Brodie made a list like this for me too.

the other cute thing I found was a poem I wrote. My favorite poem used to be This Is Just To Say by William Carlos Williams:

I have eaten

the plums

that were in

the icebox

and which

you were probably

saving

for breakfast

Forgive me

they were delicious

so sweet

and so cold

I wrote my own version apparently:

I loved aliens as a kid. this poem doesn't entirely accurately mimic the original, but maybe next blog post will be a revised version. i love how it says "If you have feet" like the alien is not familiar with the anatomy of the human species, but is with slippers. the second stanza just says "thunderously into/your bedroom/window" without a verb. You fill in the blank I suppose.

this was all very sweet to find. My birthday is coming up and I can't help but feel so old, especially reading these back. but maybe putting new entries into these notebooks is my way of coming back to my youth, especially doodling with this crayonesque style. I love being teenaged and i am not ready to be over with it so I am trying to go back to the start I suppose.

in fact I've been watching raunchy old movies about american teenagehood, specifically Wet Hot American Summer (2001) and Fast Times at Ridgemont High (1982). i originally watched Wet Hot American Summer because it was during the NY/NJ heatwave and i was like yeah, my summer is wet and hot and american right now. then I watched Fast Times because it's classic and I literally got it at the library as a DVD, in the way it was meant to be consumed. i liked it a lot. bring this shit back please.

the best I've got are my flicks from this week, when i went to the beach with my teenaged friends.

I love them. I love brodie still.

show madness!

 hey club members!

i have been so insanely exhausted. this is for a couple reasons. Last week was tiring because it was my last week of classes. so i had a ton of exams and projects and nothing interesting to really say because I was so mentally burnt out. I was also dealing with some friendship stuff with some of my closest friends so I was emotionally exhausted also.

Last week was equally tiring i am afraid. this is because I was organizing and practicing for a show that I was hosting at the end of the week! my band severly overworked ourselves. we practiced for hours on wednesday through friday morning. my bandmate even slept over thursday night so we could finish the song we were writing for the next day. meanwhile the friendship stuff was still kind of lingering on my mind. 

The most stressful day was friday. Organizing and hosting this show was so intense. I will not be doing it for a while. And after all that chaos, i had to be ready to play while also sweaty and delirious from lack of sleep. those 5 minutes before I performed were actually hell. 

In the end, the show was a success. I am so proud of my band and myself for putting all that together. the only part I am unsatisfied with is how I forgot all the lyrics to the song we stayed up all night writing. I would say it was all in vain, but it really wasn't. I will not elaborate.

i will probably write something longer about this show. there are some details about a 7/11 and a pool that i want to include. but im still processing and i am still tired. so just wait.

I would post pictures from the show but i unfortunately took ZERO because I was too busy with everything else. and I will not post pictures of my band quite yet because I don't think I want my face on here right now. also I don't want to post someone else's pictures. so just trust me that it happened, ok?

on another note, I finally told someone about this blog. like 30 minutes ago. she was very understanding. I did not give her the link.

i still feel like I need to attach something to this post, so here's a snippet of the chorus we wrote

i wanted to believe

that we would make it to the summer

i couldn't be deceived

if only we were a little bit dumber

its not too bad for being written in a night

(walkman + pastel sketch from last week)

(might post the finished sketch another time)

(#bring back walkmans)

on an entirely different note just because I am still awake and writing (12:57am), what book should I read next? i loved Pandora's Jar but it took a while to get through because it was nonfiction. i feel like I need something very fast paced and summery and maybe with romance subplot or fantasy elements? i am trying to not buy any more books so here are a few contenders I already own:

- Persephone Station by Stina Leicht

- Stardust by Neil Gaiman

- Severance by Ling Ma

tomorrow I will decide as it is now 1:05 and I need to stop this.

challengers = life

I can't believe this post is so late. I apologize profusely. 

The theme of this week is tennis.

I have a lot to say but I am so exhausted from strumming a guitar very hard all day so I'll just drop some shots and come back or else I will certainly forget.

I have a lot of other pics/art/music I want to share also but not right now. I'll update this post soon

doodle appreciation

 

I drew this in literature class today and I felt like sharing

More to come to this post but i am not in the headspace for it right now. Take these for now

Ok I'm right now. Here are more doodles from my schoolwork <3

It's always the tests I do bad on that have the dumbest doodles. I wonder if there is some correlation there. Instead of drawing this bug I should have been looking over my Greek paper.

Should I get into painting? What if I painted this doodle?

I love drawing snakes I realized. I like to label them as snakes as well. I like how the middle snake says Snake Is Observed. The top snake probably ate a cardboard box and that's why it's shaped like that. The bottom snake looks like it's part of a political campaign.

Would it be robotics club without a robot? This summer I plan to build a robot. For now I will just draw them on my math homework.